This months post is merely 2 promising research articles and a short story.
Enjoy...
New Research Study
Indicates Diet May Slow the Progress of Parkinson's Disease
New research study indicates that a diet high in protein and
green leafy vegetables, low in sugar, fat and carbohydrates significantly
increases the quality of life for Parkinson's patients. Fifty percent of the
sample study (n=2) indicated an increase quality of life and feeling of
well-being of over three points on a 10-point scale.
After being on the diet for just over three months 50% of
the samples study reported feeling remarkably better, lost weight, gained
muscle and lowered cholesterol levels. The other 50% of the sample indicated no
significant improvement in their quality of life, neither gained nor lost
weight and had no effect on their muscle mass or cholesterol levels.
The study is not without limitations. Other than the small
sample size one research participant admitted to being, "a junk food
junkie" who ate three out of his four meals daily at local fast food
establishments. Another subject, as self-reported reported vegan, indicated no
change in his overall health. In addition, the title of the research study may
be slightly misleading.
Lead researcher, Milton Teagle reported that research
already underway shows that other minor lifestyle changes have significantly
improved the quality of life of Parkinson's patients. "After seeing such
significant results with just a change in diet, the research team decided to
try other minor lifestyle changes in research participants. In one study in
which the research is already completed, we found that dancing to 1950s music
significantly increased perspiration levels of patients." Other areas of
Teagle’s research which have shown promise are having sex with a model,
receiving large cash gifts and driving an expensive convertible sports car down
the Pacific Coast Highway.
This study published in January 2018 Journal of Perceptible Research and sponsored by
the Vegetable Growers of America.
New Research Study on
the Impact of The Excessive Use of Medical Marijuana on Parkinson's Patients
Proves to Be Inconclusive
Lead Researchers Calvin Cordozar
Broadus & W. Hugh Nelson appeared puzzled today when they reported on the
inconclusive results of their double-blind, longitudinal study of the effects
of excessive marijuana on Parkinson's patients.
At a press
conference today, Broadus and Nelson appeared disappointed to announce that the
results of their two-year, longitudinal study proved to be inconclusive. In
this study patients were allowed to vape (20 THC to 1 CBD) as much as they wanted
throughout the day. Researchers expexted to find decreased levels of reported
pain and anxiety, increased appetite and overall longer sleeping patterns.
When asked why
the results were inconclusive Broadus stated, “I think it was due to the use of
an outdated Scantron sheet for self-reporting results.” Patients met monthly at
various locations and were given Scantron sheets to report changes in sleep
patterns, pain and anxiety levels. Nelson stated, "I have never seen
anything like it. The research subjects did almost anything other than a fill
out the Scantron sheet” Subjects reportedly ignored the Scantron sheets
altogether, played connect the dots or shaded in the circles to make creative
designs.
In good news, all
200 research participants have signed up for the follow-up study.
The study was
sponsored by The Chamber of Commerce of Humboldt Count CA & Published on
hightimes.com
Drawing The Battle Lines: A Short Story
No one dies of Parkinson’s disease, but
some die of related complications. A percentage of my brothers and sisters die
by choking on their food, falling and freezing and getting by hit by a car.
While the progression is slow and my prognosis is good, part of me fears these
possibilities, no matter how slim their likelihood.
Of course, I fear a loss of quality of
life and how this may affect my family and friends. What I also fear and
absolutely will not abide is someone
saying something along the lines of, “After a long and valiant battle, Jack
finally succumbed to Parkinson’s disease...” This is a battle I will never
lose.
Somewhere in my mid-thirties, a
terrorist organization known as alpha synuclein and its evil
Parkinson’s-causing allies began their attack by secretly infiltrating my body.
The results of this sneak attack were the loss of my abilities to smell and
write, as well as a significant drop in the volume of my voice. (Side note: I
must point out that I do not mourn this change in my voice as I have talked far
too loudly for far too long. In addition, there is a benefit to this symptom:
people now lean in, put their hands on my shoulder and really connect and
communicate.) Along with my family, friends, doctor and other allies, I drew
the battle lines at this point. Exercise became a strong ally and helped to
hold back the enemy. Then, in a move my foe never saw coming, I formed an allegiance
with big pharma and took full advantage of its endless resources.
For now, an armistice has been called
and Parkinson’s is not advancing. I am temporarily healed but not cured. Every
day that my allies and I hold back the enemy is another day that doctors,
researchers, pharmaceutical companies and patients have to find a cure. The
clock is ticking, but organizations like the Michael J. Fox and Parkinson’s
Foundations are fighting for me and all my fellow parkies. There is hope.
The worst case and unlikely scenario
is, of course, is that the enemy will cause me to die of complications related
to Parkinson’s. What if alpha synuclein and its allies come for me in the form
of powerful monsters, vampires ready to suck the last drops of dopamine from my
body? What if these hideous black and gray monsters, dripping with slime,
surround me, covering the floor and slithering up the walls and ceiling? Once
they think they have me surrounded, however, I will vanish, leaving only an old
fashioned reel to reel recorder when the terrorist press play they will hear:
Dear Parkinson’s Disease,
“You have lost and there will be
opportunity to surrender. Fortunately for me, you forgot what the war was
about. While you slowly attacked my body, I was busy enjoying my life, being a
father, grandfather, husband and friend. I had a good quality of life and
enjoyed a successful career. I danced, boxed, swam, loved and laughed. While I
accepted your presence, I never lived in fear. I volunteered, contributed to
articles and took part in research studies right under your very nose! You also
failed to remember that you did not enter my body genetically and cannot invade
future generations. I can see my legacy; where is yours? Is reality beginning
to set in? Your host lived a long, full and happy life and now, you have no
home in which to survive. This message will self-destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...”
Prologue
All diseases are terrorist. They
secretly enter our bodies and wreak havoc. The secret to defeating a terrorist
organization is not to wipe them out or destroy them, but to keep them from
accomplishing their mission. If you live for today and do not allow the
invaders to terrorize you will have won. The best part is that is a battle you
will enjoy fighting!
