Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Two New Promising Research Articles & A Short Story


This months post is merely 2 promising research articles and a short story.
Enjoy...


New Research Study Indicates Diet May Slow the Progress of Parkinson's Disease
New research study indicates that a diet high in protein and green leafy vegetables, low in sugar, fat and carbohydrates significantly increases the quality of life for Parkinson's patients. Fifty percent of the sample study (n=2) indicated an increase quality of life and feeling of well-being of over three points on a 10-point scale.

After being on the diet for just over three months 50% of the samples study reported feeling remarkably better, lost weight, gained muscle and lowered cholesterol levels. The other 50% of the sample indicated no significant improvement in their quality of life, neither gained nor lost weight and had no effect on their muscle mass or cholesterol levels.

The study is not without limitations. Other than the small sample size one research participant admitted to being, "a junk food junkie" who ate three out of his four meals daily at local fast food establishments. Another subject, as self-reported reported vegan, indicated no change in his overall health. In addition, the title of the research study may be slightly misleading.

Lead researcher, Milton Teagle reported that research already underway shows that other minor lifestyle changes have significantly improved the quality of life of Parkinson's patients. "After seeing such significant results with just a change in diet, the research team decided to try other minor lifestyle changes in research participants. In one study in which the research is already completed, we found that dancing to 1950s music significantly increased perspiration levels of patients." Other areas of Teagle’s research which have shown promise are having sex with a model, receiving large cash gifts and driving an expensive convertible sports car down the Pacific Coast Highway.

This study published in January 2018 Journal of Perceptible Research and sponsored by the Vegetable Growers of America.

New Research Study on the Impact of The Excessive Use of Medical Marijuana on Parkinson's Patients Proves to Be Inconclusive
Lead Researchers Calvin Cordozar Broadus & W. Hugh Nelson appeared puzzled today when they reported on the inconclusive results of their double-blind, longitudinal study of the effects of excessive marijuana on Parkinson's patients.

At a press conference today, Broadus and Nelson appeared disappointed to announce that the results of their two-year, longitudinal study proved to be inconclusive. In this study patients were allowed to vape (20 THC to 1 CBD) as much as they wanted throughout the day. Researchers expexted to find decreased levels of reported pain and anxiety, increased appetite and overall longer sleeping patterns.

When asked why the results were inconclusive Broadus stated, “I think it was due to the use of an outdated Scantron sheet for self-reporting results.” Patients met monthly at various locations and were given Scantron sheets to report changes in sleep patterns, pain and anxiety levels. Nelson stated, "I have never seen anything like it. The research subjects did almost anything other than a fill out the Scantron sheet” Subjects reportedly ignored the Scantron sheets altogether, played connect the dots or shaded in the circles to make creative designs.

In good news, all 200 research participants have signed up for the follow-up study.

The study was sponsored by The Chamber of Commerce of Humboldt Count CA & Published on hightimes.com

Drawing The Battle Lines: A Short Story
No one dies of Parkinson’s disease, but some die of related complications. A percentage of my brothers and sisters die by choking on their food, falling and freezing and getting by hit by a car. While the progression is slow and my prognosis is good, part of me fears these possibilities, no matter how slim their likelihood.



Of course, I fear a loss of quality of life and how this may affect my family and friends. What I also fear and absolutely will not abide is someone saying something along the lines of, “After a long and valiant battle, Jack finally succumbed to Parkinson’s disease...” This is a battle I will never lose. 



Somewhere in my mid-thirties, a terrorist organization known as alpha synuclein and its evil Parkinson’s-causing allies began their attack by secretly infiltrating my body. The results of this sneak attack were the loss of my abilities to smell and write, as well as a significant drop in the volume of my voice. (Side note: I must point out that I do not mourn this change in my voice as I have talked far too loudly for far too long. In addition, there is a benefit to this symptom: people now lean in, put their hands on my shoulder and really connect and communicate.) Along with my family, friends, doctor and other allies, I drew the battle lines at this point. Exercise became a strong ally and helped to hold back the enemy. Then, in a move my foe never saw coming, I formed an allegiance with big pharma and took full advantage of its endless resources.



For now, an armistice has been called and Parkinson’s is not advancing. I am temporarily healed but not cured. Every day that my allies and I hold back the enemy is another day that doctors, researchers, pharmaceutical companies and patients have to find a cure. The clock is ticking, but organizations like the Michael J. Fox and Parkinson’s Foundations are fighting for me and all my fellow parkies. There is hope.



The worst case and unlikely scenario is, of course, is that the enemy will cause me to die of complications related to Parkinson’s. What if alpha synuclein and its allies come for me in the form of powerful monsters, vampires ready to suck the last drops of dopamine from my body? What if these hideous black and gray monsters, dripping with slime, surround me, covering the floor and slithering up the walls and ceiling? Once they think they have me surrounded, however, I will vanish, leaving only an old fashioned reel to reel recorder when the terrorist press play they will hear:



Dear Parkinson’s Disease,



“You have lost and there will be opportunity to surrender. Fortunately for me, you forgot what the war was about. While you slowly attacked my body, I was busy enjoying my life, being a father, grandfather, husband and friend. I had a good quality of life and enjoyed a successful career. I danced, boxed, swam, loved and laughed. While I accepted your presence, I never lived in fear. I volunteered, contributed to articles and took part in research studies right under your very nose! You also failed to remember that you did not enter my body genetically and cannot invade future generations. I can see my legacy; where is yours? Is reality beginning to set in? Your host lived a long, full and happy life and now, you have no home in which to survive. This message will self-destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...”



Prologue

All diseases are terrorist. They secretly enter our bodies and wreak havoc. The secret to defeating a terrorist organization is not to wipe them out or destroy them, but to keep them from accomplishing their mission. If you live for today and do not allow the invaders to terrorize you will have won. The best part is that is a battle you will enjoy fighting!