In reference to the Friars Club, Groucho Marks once wrote, "I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member." I have always related to this quote as I have never been a joiner.
Four years ago, I was handed a membership card to what I was told was an exclusive organization. I said, "No thanks, I never applied..." I was told, however, that I was one of 100 people who were, "selected." The membership chair told me that either "fate, genetics or environmental factors had nominated me."
The chair named many famous people such as Michael J Fox and Muhammad Ali and told me they were members. I was sympathetic but unimpressed. Since then, new members such as Jesse Jackson and Linda Ronstadt have joined. I should mention that none of the above people have invited me to any of the club's events. If you have and extra $4000 laying around you could go to gala or maybe even the World Parkinson's Summit. Unfortunately, all of my expendable income goes to dental bills. (Dental complications are common among our members.)
I have asked to be "let out," but apparently our club is like an organized crime family, you are in for life. Membership fees are steep. There are co-pays, deductibles, medication, dental bills and many other forms of mandatory charges.
There are also some good committees such as the Michael J. Fox Foundation and the
Parkinson's Foundation, which I joined. The task of these committees is to limit membership while improving the daily lives of those of us already in the organization.
Last year, we inducted a new member, Judas Priest Guitarist, Glenn Tipton.
I can not express in words how angry I am. This organization is just NOT exclusive enough. In fact, two people who I used to go swing dancing with in the 90s were inducted! I certainly did not want them to join!
So today, I scream at the universe, god, the medical community and pharmaceutical companies, "Close The Damn Books!" "No New Members!"
Glenn on behalf of all of us here at the club, "It is with great sadness that we reluctantly accept you as a member." If anyone has any way of contacting Glenn, please inform him that I am happy to work toward the promotion of his next benefit concert.
